I used to work with a girl called Tammy Croucher, who is fearless. She writes the blog The Obnoxious Owl, which is a world away from this blog because a) she talks about sex a lot, whilst I fear my body, and b) people read it. I Love it.
My favourite part of the blog is when she gives us troops some advice. I decided to directly rip off her idea, because giving advice is something I am DEFINITELY qualified to do. You should probably listen up.
TAKE MY ADVICE I DON’T USE IT ANYWAY (Part infinity.)
1) BE AWESOME.
There are plenty of ways to achieve this. The first way if obviously to wear a cape, or hold a tiny cape bundled up in your hand when you ride the bus if you are scared of doing that. Even if no one else does, you know you’ll be flying.
Can you believe that there are people in the world whom go through their whole lives denying themselves bread and cakes?! Because maybe a boy or girl might notice them if they are a bit skinnier, or don’t have a sandwich in their mouth all of the time? I can’t believe this. If someone if not worth having cupcakes with, they are not worth dating.
3) WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE. OR THE INTERNET. OR GET A SLEEVE TATTOO DEPICTING YOUR HEART AND THEN UPLOAD A PHOTO OF IT TO THE INTERNET.
Write about it, cry about it, sing about it, send declarations of love via text message from the floor of Amplifier bar (where one day you will stop going, you swear), and mean every word of it. We are made of rushing feelings. Let your mascara run over them. Tear your stockings on them. Let them shine.
4) MAKE OUT WITH ME.
5) FIND YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL AND CHILL OUT WITH IT FOR A WHILE.
It has been there all along and is sad you have not noticed it. It wants you to be wild and march boldly ahead! It probably wants you to climb a tree. It wants to chat about life and stuff, and it wants to share your breakfast. Being alone is not always being alone. Your spirit animal is always there. Mine is a deer, and yours is probably a unicorn. I am serious about this.
6) NO ONE IS BETTER THAN YOU.
This is a real and true thing. Don’t let the haters keep you off your grind.